It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
