Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
