false alarm. still invincible.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
