K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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