People with herpes should wear stickers.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize