We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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