this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
