I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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