next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
