marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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