my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
