If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
