I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize