Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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