Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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