So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize