alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
