Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize