Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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