I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize