Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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