I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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