I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
