dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
