UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
the liver wants what the liver wants
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
