maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize