i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So squirting runs in the family.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
