I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
