dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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