That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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