my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
