Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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