there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize