Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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