we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
