It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
