I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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