Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
