Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wish there were birth control emojis
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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