ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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