he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
