that's an acceptable place to lick
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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