Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
