would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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