I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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