My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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