He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
