Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
