i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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