Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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