But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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