Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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