Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
