he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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