id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
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got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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