I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
