Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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