My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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