Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
