the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
