pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
