I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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