don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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