Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
