Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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