i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Two words: blizzard sex
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