His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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