I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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